Do you keep in mind Robert Helpmann’s menacing portrayal of the child catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang? I was solely seven when the film was launched, and boy, did that creepy twisted man give me nightmares?
After the council elections, new Conservative group chief, Cllr Steve Hastings, did his best impersonation of Helpmann’s villainous kiddie snatcher, offering newly-elected non-Tory councillors delicious sweeties, cherry pie and ice-cream. All they need do was emerge from hiding and help the Tories retain administration of County Hall. Rumour has it such was the Tories’ desperation, nearly any job was on present to 2 councillors, which was what they wished to keep up the dream alive. Alas, it was to not be, no matter these nice Tory overtures – what a principled bunch they’re? No, not the Tories; I indicate the others who caught collectively like glue, concurrently blowing raspberries inside the route of Mr Hastings’ frantic pleadings.
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When the council met for the first-time ultimate week, the Tories thought they’d been nonetheless in with a possibility. Actually even on the ultimate minute, any individual would crack. What about that Brexit bloke, Daryll Pitcher? He and Hastings was as soon as in UKIP collectively; completely, he wouldn’t vote with the Greens and Labour. Merely as Vulgaria was considered too dangerous for youths, County Hall was deemed far too treacherous for our newly-elected representatives, so the film, on this case a You Tube video, was shot inside the Medina Hall.
After the two potential council leaders had been proposed, a couple of rigorously chosen members had been tasked to speak of their favour. Hilariously, Cllr Clare Mosdell appeared blissfully unaware that, since polling day, her champion Cllr Hastings had been frantically offering sweeties to anyone prepared to help him develop into chief. Until then the mood of the meeting appeared pretty nice nevertheless Cllr Mosdell modified all that. Being good hadn’t labored – so Clare positioned on a passable impression of Baroness Bomburst. She glowered all through the hall, instructing non-Tories to think about rigorously about what she (appropriately) sensed they’d been about to do.
“Council jobs should not be given out like sweets, because sweets soon lose their flavour,” pronounced the Baroness. Oops, had candy-man Hastings forgotten to say his confectionery enticements? Do they not converse since he beat her to the Tory administration job?
Along with, as all people is conscious of, it’s not sweets that lose their flavour, it’s chewing gum. As my dentist will confirm, sweets give you a sugar rush and mood swings, sooner than slowly disappearing – an identical to your tooth and the Tories’ ambition to run the council. Spikily, Baroness Mosdell suggested the unbiased collective they should abstain on the administration vote because of “none of them had a mandate”. What a bloomin’ cheek. Had she not noticed that merely 41 per cent had voted Conservative – they’d been miles from having a mandate.
There was no sign of event chairman David Pugh, nor MP Bob ‘half-a-sausage’ Seely, one might have anticipated every to be available, given their key roles inside the election. Possibly they’d been lurking inside the shadows, like these two ridiculous spies inside the Chitty movie? The pair had been despatched from Vulgaria to steal the fantastic flying car for the evil Baron Bomburst, nevertheless – like Pugh and Seely – after loads of comedic bumbling, they fail miserably of their mission. Moreover identical to the film, the meeting had an upbeat, happy ending – as a result of the Island’s very private Actually Scrumptious, Lora Peacey-Wilcox was triumphantly elected chief!
The Tories had been crestfallen, nevertheless totally different councillors present appeared positively cock-a-hoop. And all because of they’d been taught under no circumstances to easily settle for sweeties from uncommon males.
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